Have you ever been in a relationship, a job, or a project longer than was beneficial for you because you were afraid of losing it . . . even if you sorta kinda didn’t even really want it anymore?

I sure have.

When I was growing up, my parents did mostly everything together in their spare time, and often included my sister and me as well. They were married for 52 years before my dad passed away.

From watching them, I just drew the unrecognized conclusion that you were supposed to be with someone as long as possible and to stick it out no matter what. (Not that I’m saying that they “shouldn’t” have stayed together—just that by watching them I unknowingly assumed that that’s what everyone was supposed to do.)

So when I was dating my first boyfriend, even though it was clear that many of the things he said were said to be mean or to have a negative impact on me, I stuck it out for much longer than I would have if I hadn’t been afraid of losing the status of having a boyfriend and the comfort of not having to look for someone else (and also afraid of having to recognize my own feelings of self worth).

I did learn a lot about what NOT to tolerate from that relationship, yet it also heightened distortion patterns of low self worth that were running (although I had no idea at the time, of course, about the distortion pattern stuff!).

It’s not that I regret anything about the relationship, because all of my choices up to this point have led me to where I am, to be the person I am, now. 

But it’s super obvious now that despite the fact that the relationship was the source of a lot of learning, it certainly wasn’t a good relationship—and yet one that I didn’t want to lose. And so many people tolerate so many things for so much longer because of a similar fear of loss.

In this week’s episode (#102!) Dennis and I talk about “Losing The Fear Of Loss”, how the fear of loss influences so much of our decision making, and how a shift in our perspective and frequencies changes the choices we want to make.

The free GFC (Group Frequency Calibration®) at the end will begin to help remove one of these foundational distortion patterns that almost every human experiences.

Here’s to freeing up the choices we get to make!

Let’s rise together.



  • Fear of loss is a huge driver of human behavior. We’ll often go to great lengths to avoid experiencing loss — in any of its many forms (loss of a person, relationship, security, resources, time, etc.).
  • This fear is a fundamental distortion pattern; it’s deeply woven into the experience of being human. If you’re human, you’re going to have this pattern, no matter what culture or religion you come from. And culture, religion, and lineage will likely impose further layers of distortions upon this pattern as well.
  • Fear of loss is tied to an identification with the ego mind (or little “s” self). When we’re operating from that perspective, there’s a perceived separation from the divine. There’s a perception of scarcity in our reality — and so there’s something to lose.
  • As we shift into the new consciousness, we move from identification with the ego mind to identifying more with spirit (the big “S” Self). From this perspective, you have an awareness of yourself as infinite consciousness. There is no scarcity, no loss — only a change of form.
  • From this perspective, for example, you can perceive that the death of a loved one is simply a change of form. It’s a shift from a physical embodiment to a disembodied state. When you’re connected to the infiniteness of the big “S” Self, you can recognize that and shift your relationship with what is normally — from a more human perspective — perceived as loss.
  • Shifting this pattern isn’t about changing your mindset or suppressing the fear. It runs deep, and the real work of releasing it will be done through frequency work. And when you release it, your choices and possibilities will broaden and expand. Releasing this fear allows you to live a fuller experience of life.