For this episode’s GFC, click here.

When I was a little kid I didn’t know what it meant to be lonely.

Whenever I was alone, I’d play by myself — immersed in whatever it was that I was doing, whether it was spinning in my pink tutu (LOVED that thing!) in ballet class or reading or playing with legos.

That started to change when I became a teenager. I started to really identify with the girls who were my friends and somehow my sense of self began to depend on things like belonging to a group of friends, and who I would consider my best friend.

Whenever I’d come back from a sleepover or birthday party I’d feel lonely for a little while.

We’ve probably all felt lonely at some point or other, but what really is loneliness? Some of us will do a lot to avoid that feeling, including overworking, overeating, drinking too much, and being in relationships that do not serve us.

In this episode Tia and I talk about what on spirit level causes us to feel lonely and how to resolve it.

After the discussion, the GFC (Group Frequency Calibration®) will help you to begin to release the distortion patterns that cause you to feel lonely, whether you’re alone or with others.

Without releasing the distortion patterns we target in this GFC, we can get stuck in that empty feeling of not belonging.

Let’s rise together!



  • Loneliness and aloneness are two different things. Loneliness is when you feel empty and disconnected from others, and it can sink so deep into the psyche that we feel lonely even when we’re around others. Loneliness can be so painful that some people will even engage in destructive behavior to try to avoid feeling that way. 
  • Loneliness is usually caused by a strong identification with the ego-mind or “little s” self. When you’re feeling lonely or like an outsider, the mind can reinforce that negative self-talk. It triggers a lot of distortion patterns, which can deepen the feelings of loneliness. When you have a spiral of distortion patterns going, it can be tricky to pull your way out of it. 
  • When your distortion patterns get loud, the mind wants a logical reason to justify the distortions. As a result, the inner critic ramps up. But if you can break the distortion/loneliness dynamic, it gives your “big S” self — one that’s more identified with spirit — a chance to offer a perspective that’s not mired in the ego-mind. It allows you to observe what’s happening from a much higher perspective, and you realize that you’re part of everything and everything is part of you. You’re never really alone.
  • The veil of forgetting causes us to forget our true nature as infinite indestructible consciousness. It causes us to feel separate from the oneness, and it underpins the loneliness we can experience in this embodiment. And when you’re lonely, your resonance is low. You can easily go into victim or self-pity mode, which drops it even lower.
  • In our culture, loneliness is often programmed into us at an early age. We mistakenly conclude that an intimate partner will “complete us” or make us whole. Because this sentiment is running so strongly in our culture, a lot of people are compelled to feel lonely if they do not have a partner. 
  • People in intimate partnerships and parent-child relationships often enmesh with each other. This means that they aren’t holding their space, and their spirit bodies intertwine. This dynamic isn’t great: It weakens the spirit bodies of both people and causes them to process the other’s distortion patterns. It’s difficult to rise in frequency resonance without a spirit body that’s whole, separate, and strong.
  • Ultimately, overcoming loneliness is about defining yourself internally: It’s about your frequency resonance and your ability to feel your connection to pure source. When you’re in that expansive and connected space, you know that you’re never truly alone.